Self Help begins with the FLASH Feeling list:
Fear: the emotion you feel when you think or expect that something negative is going to happen to you.
Love: the emotion you feel when you have no desires or expectations and are just enjoying the moment.
Anger: the emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has not been met and you still want it met.
Sadness: the emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has not been met and you have given up hope of having it met.
Happiness: The emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has been met or you believe it will be met.
Study the list and you will see that all the feeling on the list are related to one's desires or expectations. It is important to be able to identify your feelings. Your feelings point to what is going on in your mind.
The untrained/unconscious mind is always going from one thing to another. This is not really an issue except that it does this mostly unnoticed by the conscious mind. Therefore it is a very distracted and unconscious process.
Most of our intentions are what I call ego-type intentions. We go about meeting our basic needs much the same way as we engage in most autonomic processes. Just as we breath autonomically without conscious attention we think mostly without conscious attention.
Begin with the FLASH feelings list because it points the way to the thoughts behind our feelings. Feelings always point to thought patterns. If you want to have feelings but not be ruled by them, or get stuck in them, then you need to be able to notice your own mind as you feel. This opens you up to notice a deeper level of feelings. These deeper feelings are due to the knowledge of our own feelings and are akin to knowing certain things are going to happen before they happen. Whether this is ESP, or, just seeing things more clearly and thus being able to have a knowingness based on wisdom that is experienced on the feeling level; I have no idea, and I don't really care, I just know it's a place that you can get to.
Homework #1 Flash
Homework #2 Notice you mind
Find a way to notice the thoughts in your mind and pay particular attention to any "I" thoughts. Any thought that begins with "I" is pivotal. Mostly we accept these thoughts without questioning them. Examples: I am hungry; I am tired; I am angry; I am sad; I am a fool; I am no good; etc. As you have these thoughts notice them and see if they are true or if they are conditioned. Could it be that you are not really tired but you tell yourself that so you can flop down in front of the TV and veg out? (I give that example from my own stock by the way.) Could it be that your not hungry but you have the thought because eating feels good and you want to feel good?
Here are some ways to notice your thoughts
Homework #3 Chose to be Happy.
Make it your intention to be happy for one day. Pick a day and chose to be happy that day. Notice anything that gets in the way of your happiness. As you do write it down. If it's a situation that presents itself describe it in as much detail as possible. Ask yourself if it is just this situation or is it because of past similar situations made you unhappy and this so this one has to? Is it a FLASH feeling thing? Is there a desire or expectation that you may be able to let go of? Is it possible that you have a counter intention to your happiness. Is part of you wanted to get back to another chronic feeling level? Is there an intention toward fear, anger, sadness that seems to continue to intervene. Notice all this as you chose happiness anyway. Are you going to let situations or others get in the way of your own happiness? Are you going to let your unconscious mind determine how you feel? Ask yourself, and choose happiness, all day long.