Individual Counseling

Individual Counseling

Individual Psychotherapy has become an accepted practice to those in search of clear minded serenity. Nowadays, individuals seek therapy in a path toward their own mental freedom. If you want to be free from suffering why not seek out a professional who's job it is to help people transcend their mental suffering? Psychotherapists help many high functioning, self actualizing individuals become better able to be successful in their own lives. Sports psychologists, for example, help many a top athlete develop their peek performance.

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Email Counseling

Email Counseling

Email therapy or eTherapy is becoming more and more popular. With the internet age comes convenience and choice in so many areas of our lives. So many things are at our fingertips, including counseling. From the privacy and convenience of home one can get quality counseling at costs much lower than traditional face to face counseling. Costs are lower because normal therapist office expenses are gone.

It's certainly a great place to start.

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Articles and Information

Couples Counseling

Couples Counseling

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couples Counseling is needed when the lines of communication in a marriage or partnership have broken down, making it impossible to relate to one another in a mutually beneficial way.

It benefits both parties to have an advocate and confidant in a mate. If there is resentment there is withdrawal. If there is a list of inequities on either or both sides that has not been discussed, processed and mitigated, then there can not be healthy, open, frank discussion.

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Intention Therapy

Intention Therapy

Thoughts often lead to patterns and tendencies. Patterns of feeling and belief, tendencies toward this and away from that, creating ideas of maladaptive selfhood.

Mindfulness shows a way clear of all that has been created by past thoughts and deeds. It is a way to tend the garden of your mind.

Intention Therapy is a means towards rooting out the weeds of destructive: patterns, tendencies, beliefs, and identities.

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Homework and Self Help

Self Help begins with the FLASH Feeling list:

FLASH Feelings

Fear: the emotion you feel when you think or expect that something negative is going to happen to you.

Love: the emotion you feel when you have no desires or expectations and are just enjoying the moment.

Anger: the emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has not been met and you still want it met.

Sadness: the emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has not been met and you have given up hope of having it met.

Happiness: The emotion you feel when a desire or expectation has been met or you believe it will be met.

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Study the list and you will see that all the feeling on the list are related to one's desires or expectations. It is important to be able to identify your feelings. Your feelings point to what is going on in your mind.

The untrained/unconscious mind is always going from one thing to another. This is not really an issue except that it does this mostly unnoticed by the conscious mind. Therefore it is a very distracted and unconscious process.

Most of our intentions are what I call ego-type intentions. We go about meeting our basic needs much the same way as we engage in most autonomic processes. Just as we breath autonomically without conscious attention we think mostly without conscious attention.

Begin with the FLASH feelings list because it points the way to the thoughts behind our feelings. Feelings always point to thought patterns. If you want to have feelings but not be ruled by them, or get stuck in them, then you need to be able to notice your own mind as you feel. This opens you up to notice a deeper level of feelings. These deeper feelings are due to the knowledge of our own feelings and are akin to knowing certain things are going to happen before they happen. Whether this is ESP, or, just seeing things more clearly and thus being able to have a knowingness based on wisdom that is experienced on the feeling level; I have no idea, and I don't really care, I just know it's a place that you can get to.

Homework #1 Flash

  1. Download Flash Feeling List.
  2. Identify your current Flash Feeling.
  3. Identify the desire and/or expectation that is fueling the feeling.
  4. Ask yourself if in this moment you want to continue to hold onto this desire or expectation.
  5. If you chose to hold onto the desire or expectation observe your mind, jot down your thoughts if you can. Observe your feeling, where do you feel it? What does it feel like? For example: is it hot or cold, is it a tightness,...? Where do you feel it in your body? What else do you notice about it?
  6. If you let go of the desire or expectation, observe your mind. Does the feeling go away? Does it change? How long does it take to change or go away?
  7. If you had no desire or expectation the FLASH feeling is Love. Some people have a hard time with the word love as used here. Don't get caught up in it. It's just a word and it sort of fits. Actually it fits very well once you see this in action.

Homework #2 Notice you mind

Find a way to notice the thoughts in your mind and pay particular attention to any "I" thoughts. Any thought that begins with "I" is pivotal. Mostly we accept these thoughts without questioning them. Examples: I am hungry; I am tired; I am angry; I am sad; I am a fool; I am no good; etc. As you have these thoughts notice them and see if they are true or if they are conditioned. Could it be that you are not really tired but you tell yourself that so you can flop down in front of the TV and veg out? (I give that example from my own stock by the way.) Could it be that your not hungry but you have the thought because eating feels good and you want to feel good?

Here are some ways to notice your thoughts

  1. Start by lighting a candle and watching the flame. Concentrate on the flame, as thoughts come through your mind notice them but return to concentrating on the flame. Your mind will want to wander, don't let it, stay focused on the flame. You will find that your mind will wander no matter what you do so all you can do is return to the flame. But, as it wanders observe the thoughts between returning to the flame.
  2. Journal what is on your mind, or write poetry. This is great if you are prone to anxiety or can't do the first way because your mind is too distracted. Actually, it's great in addition to the first one.
  3. If you have other forms of mindfulness that you like do them. But, don't confuse mindfulness with relaxation, visualization type exercises. This takes focus and concentration and at the beginning it may seem difficult, but it's not as long as you are not looking for results. It doesn't matter what comes up, and it doesn't matter where you go, everything you see is more than you usually see so it's all good. The results and the process are one, there is no right or wrong, good or bad, it is what it is. Any method of noticing the mind is acceptable.

Homework #3 Chose to be Happy.

Make it your intention to be happy for one day. Pick a day and chose to be happy that day. Notice anything that gets in the way of your happiness. As you do write it down. If it's a situation that presents itself describe it in as much detail as possible. Ask yourself if it is just this situation or is it because of past similar situations made you unhappy and this so this one has to? Is it a FLASH feeling thing? Is there a desire or expectation that you may be able to let go of? Is it possible that you have a counter intention to your happiness. Is part of you wanted to get back to another chronic feeling level? Is there an intention toward fear, anger, sadness that seems to continue to intervene. Notice all this as you chose happiness anyway. Are you going to let situations or others get in the way of your own happiness? Are you going to let your unconscious mind determine how you feel? Ask yourself, and choose happiness, all day long.